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first day of radiation

Today was the first of radiation therapy to my brother's brain. After his treatment we had the pleasure of meeting with Miss Theresa to have her explain the process, Miss Cathy - the social worker - to clarify the emotional stress, and Dr. Dunn and Miss Laura, our oncology team to discuss future treatments. After 5 hours at the doctor's office even I was exhausted, and I am not receiving radiation to my brain!

The good news, however, is that the doctor's think that with chemo/radiation therapy combo they can "contain" the cancer to minimal levels and extended my brother's life for at least another year, but it all depends on if the cancer is in the lymph glands and how he reacts to treatments. But we won't know more until further tests next week. Either way, we have a long journey ahead.

As for me, I am exhausted. I go through moments of frustration where I want to jump on the first plane out of crazy town and the next moment I want to tell my brother that I will take the next five weeks off work and stay with him through his chemo treatments. However, after a long run I realise that leaving after the first chemo treatment will be difficult, but I also have limitations and have a life back in berkeley on hold that i need to deal with... including a cousin dying of lung cancer. So it looks like i will be back to berkeley the first week of may... i just don't know how long it will be before i jump back to florida.

In other news, my sister-in-law has been amazing the last couple of days. Her drinking is at a minimum and she hasn't had a full fledge "episode" for atleast a couple of days. However, when she falls asleep she has nightmares and wakes up with extreme panic attacks... and that makes me worry. But she is making progress... she is going to the doctor's tomorrow to deal with her health problems and I am proud that she is taking the initatice to take care of herself.

Unfortunately, the last two nights we have ended up in fights, however, because she feels that I am talking about her behind her back and that she can't trust me... all because i told her mama that i was worrying about her. ce la vie. I rather have her confront me about it then have her upset and I not know why. I just have to learn to be carfeul how i say things around her mama and what i say to other members of the family. Speaking of which, my daddy is coming tomorrow and i already know that a fight is a-brewing. So there is nothing i can do about that except plan a carefully timed jog down to the beach. :)

Well, I should listen to my concerned friends and go to sleep. Because god knows i was ready to go to bed 8 hours ago. but being exausted is a normal mode of operation these days...



Leopoldina DeWinter

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